What Marriage Is

This story has been circulating Facebook-ville for some time now. First heard about it from Hubby... now, I'm reposting it here. Credits to Ms. Jobelle Ruiz:

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and
soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story...


MARRIAGE



When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.



Suddenly I didn't kn...ow how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.



She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why?



I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just
pitied her!



With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.



She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent
ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of
me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.



The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something
at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.



When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not
care so I turned over and was asleep again.



In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.



This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.



She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.



I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully..



My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy
in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in
my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about
the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the
office.



On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.



On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.




On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger.



She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.



Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.



Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.



But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.



I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.



She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have
a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.



Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.



At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.



That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I
run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.



The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend
and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a
real happy marriage!



If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.



If you do, you just might save a marriage.





Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they
were to success when they gave up.

Let Everyday Be Earth Day!

We all know what Earth Day is supposed to be for.

But do we really imbibe in ourselves the message that celebrating Earth Day is giving us?

Get to learn more about Earth Day....

As well as what you can do so that everyday will be Earth Day.

Check this out: Maryan's Earth Day Advocacy

OVERVIEW:

22nd April is Earth Day, let's start with this day and make Earth Day Every Day! Our planet is facing bigger challenges than ever before. Our ancient forests are being chopped down and our oceans recklessly fished out and polluted at a breathtaking pace. Whaling, toxic pollution, dirty coal, dangerous nuclear energy and genetically engineered crops threaten the quality and even sustainability of lives around the planet There are many things that are out of one person's action influence, but there are even more things that each of us can change and make a difference!

Let's start today! =)

JOIN US IN OUR ADVOCACY... NOW!

LSS: It's Gonna Make Sense, by MLTR :)

I LOVE THIS SONG! I just heard this over the radio... naririnig ko pa lang yung melody, gusto ko na siya. =) Kaya I really vowed to get a copy of this song. By all means!!!!! =)

ANOTHER THING: I'm glad Michael Learns to Rock hasn't stopped making songs. I've always loved them, since time immemorial! Woohoo! =)

Life comes in many shapes
You think you know what you got
until it changes

And life will take you high and low
you gotta learn how to walk
and then which way to go

Every choice you make
when you're lost
Every step you take
has it's cause

[Chorus:]
After you clear your eyes
you'll see the light
somewhere in the darkness
After the rain has gone
you'll feel the sun comes
and though it seems your sorrow never ends
someday its gonna make sense

Tears you shed are all the same
when you laughed 'till you cried
or broken down in pain

All the hours you have spent in the past
worrying about
a thing that didn't last

Everything you saw
played a part
in everything you are
in your heart

[Chorus:]
After you clear your eyes
you'll see the light
somewhere in the darkness
After the rain has gone
you'll feel the sun comes
and though it seems your sorrow never ends
someday your gonna find the answers

to all the things you've become(and all day down)
at your expense
Someday it's gonna make sense

after the rain has gone
you feel the sun comes
and though it seems your sorrow never ends
someday it's gonna make sense
after the rain has gone
you feel the sun comes
and though it seems your sorrow never ends
someday its gonna make sense

... And My Tummy Says, "Bump, bump, bump...."

"Doc, kumusta po?"

She could not answer me right away. I was lying down, with my shirt up my chest and my pants down to my hips... and there was my OB-gyne with the sonoscope, listening to my baby's heartbeat. I also got to hear it... it sounded like someone's repeatedly, and strongly, pounding on the door. By then, I was only four months pregnant then, and my baby's heartbeat was sending my OB-gyne nuts.

"Ang lakas ng heartbeat niya. Malakas para sa four months."

"Talaga po?"

"Oo. Usually, hindi pa marinig kapag four months, eh. Pero ito, ang lakas-lakas na. I think the baby is vigorously healthy."

I muttered, thank you, Lord.

Now, I'm six months on the way to motherhood. Haven't had my monthly checkup yet... hopefully, it'll be this Saturday... but 'you know what I've noticed about my tummy recently?

It's, like, saying, forward, backward, left, and right.

Literally.

As I was typing this blog entry, my tummy exhibits small movements on the left part. It's like something's trapped within, and it's alive. It's growing, and it's trying to get some extra space by kicking/pushing its Mommy's tummy as far as it could.

Then, it rests for a while, as if it has already found its ideal position. And when Mommy moves, it makes odd movements again, this time showing right on top of Mommy's belly button.

Thank God, my baby is alive and kicking... literally. =)

Interesting! =)

'Been perusing the Net when I saw this. =) I think this will be interesting - of help, even - especially to homemakers like me out there. =) Check this out, from Yahoo!:

Do-It-Yourself Laundry Detergent by Stacy Johnson Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Provided by
MoneyTalksNews-MultiLogo.jpg

While having clean clothes is obviously both hygienic and neighborly, how they get that way may be more open to imagination and experimentation than you may have considered. And consider you should, because as it turns out, the companies supplying the soaps you use to make your attire springtime fresh may be doing little more than taking you to the cleaners.

According to soap super-seller Proctor and Gamble (their Tide label alone accounts more than 40% of all laundry detergent used in the U.S.) Americans are doing 1,100 loads of laundry every minute of every day. And it's certainly possible that, thanks to new concentrates, many of those loads feature too much detergent.

As you've probably noticed, the latest twist in detergent is to sell us less product at a higher price with "ultra-new-and-improved" concentrates. "Use less soap, save the planet" is the basic idea. But smaller quantities mean more precise measuring is needed: fail to pay attention and you'll pour too much, which doesn't help the earth or your budget ... but does benefit Proctor and other purveyors of these products.

Then consider this dirty little secret the suds salesmen don't want you to know: Some people get by with no detergent at all. Many others save 90% of the cost of store-bought by making it themselves.

Is Detergent Even Necessary?

I recently did a TV news story showing people how to make their own laundry detergent for a fraction of the cost of store bought.

As I said in my story, while it may sound impossible, laundry detergent may not even be necessary at all. The blog Funny about Money decided to forgo it completely as part of an experiment. Here's a quote:

"By and large, all of the freshly washed clothing came out with an odor: It smelled of clean water!"

You might be surprised to learn that, while clothing has been around since the fig leaf, laundry detergent is relatively new. And yet, ancient people were presumably able to make their clothing at least somewhat clean. How?

As it turns out, something that may be even more effective than soap is agitation. Ancient people used rocks and rivers, but your modern washing machine can clean lightly soiled clothes by just pushing them around in water.

In other words, people actually do get away without using detergent at all. But if the idea of using nothing more than water to wash your gym socks sounds a little scuzzy, not to worry. You can still wring significant savings from your laundry money by making your own detergent. It's not hard.

The Recipe

A quick search online will show you that there's no shortage of homemade laundry soap recipes: Here's one from The Simple Dollar. And we've got 10 more at Money Talks News. But below is one that seems to work pretty well. You'll need:

• 4 cups of water.
• 1/3 bar of cheap soap, grated.
• 1/2 cup washing soda (not baking soda).
• 1/2 cup of Borax (20 Mule Team).
• 5-gallon bucket for mixing.
• 3 gallons of water.

First, mix the grated soap in a saucepan with 4 cups of water, and heat on low until the soap is completely dissolved. Add hot water/soap mixture to 3 gallons of water in the 5-gallon bucket, stir in the washing soda and Borax, and continue stirring until thickened. Let the mix sit for 24 hours, and voila! Homemade laundry detergent.

Of course, who'd post a recipe without trying it out first? I made and washed several loads of clothes with the homemade detergent. And I, like many before me who've traveled this road, couldn't tell the difference between store-bought and homemade.

Total cost per load? In the neighborhood of 2 cents. Store-bought detergent, depending on what you buy and where you buy it, can cost about 20 cents per load -- 10 times more.

So, there are at least two alternatives to the agitation of paying too much for laundry detergent: Ditch it altogether and use nothing more than water in your washer, or save to 90% by making your own laundry detergent.

And here's a final idea for those who, like me, are unlikely to choose either of those options. Since doing this story, I haven't started making my own laundry detergent. I still use the same store-bought concentrate I started with. But I've started using half the amount. Result? No difference at all that I can detect. Now we're really talking green.

Maybe it's time we all laundered a little money!

Standing... On Two Arms

That's how it felt at the moment.

We're, kind of, literally on our own now, without either of our biological families to support us in our plans for the future....

Pride. Envy. From time immemorial, these have always been the cause of the cancers wrecking our society. Families? I thought this only took place in the silver screen. But no, I realized, it can happen din pala in real life....

I honestly dunno how we're going to make it, when I finally give birth to our child. We have very little savings. Our only stuff at home that could be of tantamount use when "the moment" finally arrives are our clothes, beddings, silverware and dinnerware, bath stuff... nothing more.

Oh, there's a stove that doesn't have a gas burner... yet (we're waiting for the funds from my salary at my early morning raket... thanks to executives raking in frequent flyer miles, it was SUUPER delayed once more).

And, there's the water heater from his family... that, I think, we're planning to return to them soon (oh, I really wish we could have our own cooking implements soon!).

We have LOTS of books... but could we turn them into diapers? Can the baby feed in them? Or could we clothe our baby with the leaves of broadsheets? Nah.

But I'm hopeful. I kind of don't wanna lose hope, because Daddy gets his strength of character from me, and if I falter and he falters as well... I dunno what's going to happen. We want to give the best for our child. By all means.

LORD, praises and thanks be to You for giving us this little angel... and for the challenges we encounter everyday. They keep us inspired... and strong.

We continue to ask for Your forgiveness if we have been too hasty... but le' me assure You, dearest merciful LORD, that we are working on our amends....

Greatest Provider, please help. Please keep our little angel normal, safe, happy, healthy, and well-provided for. Just that, and I will ask for nothing more.

Baby, Mommy and Daddy love you. We will do everything we can for you. We're excited to see you na, to hold you in our arms. =)

Hay. Minsan nakakabaliw... na nakakatuwa. =)

The Itch... Gone =)

At last, the cold silence was now another thing of the past. =)

So, how did it happen? Well, while he was playing dumb about my presence this weekend, I just spent all my energies on the chores at home so I'll forget my heartaches. =o I made sure everything was spic and span... from the bedroom, to the living room, to the toilet, to the kitchen and dining area... I even fixed all the trash as well as the books lying on the floor for lack of storage space (yet). It was, like, the first time our floor was consistently dust-free, and the kitchen sink was spot-free. =)

Meanwhile, while he was away on his computer gaming spree, I took care of the water containers and wrote him a note. It was just a simple note, detailing everything I felt at that moment, and wishing that baby's born so I can have someone to hug when Daddy doesn't want a hug from Mommy. He read it after his afternoon snack, and sang:

... At hindi magbabago ang takbo ng puso ko
Wala nang hahanapin pa kundi pag-ibig mo
May hiwagang natanto mula sa una pang tagpo
Mananatili 'to at hindi......
Magbabago.....

Oh yeah, it was corny... he always sings that whenever we have LQs or when he's feeling cheesy... hahahaha.....

Anyway... he took a nap... and I finished the dishes and the water. I swept the floor, and... I lay down beside him. I can't help it. I just have to hug him. I was crying while I did. It has just been a day... but it felt like a year has passed since we last talked, and I missed him.

He woke up, and while he's surprised to see me beside him, he didn't push me away... instead, he just smirked and turned his back on me. I hugged him tighter... this time, he faced me and I asked, while in tears, "Bakit ka ba galit sa 'kin?" His answer was a frown, and he closed his eyes. Immediately, I knew... "O, you don't want to talk about it na lang?" He nodded. Then he hugged me and I was in tears once more. He was teary-eyed, too.

I still can't remember the exact reason why he got mad at me, but I believe it was another episode of that one trait which he really hates about me and which I really need to work on: my tendency to interrupt him whenever we're engaged in conversation, especially when I get so excited with what's next. It really pisses him off whenever I do that. So, I really... really... really need to work hard on that.

So, what happens next? We engaged in animated conversation over dinner. This went on up to 10 p.m. We took a break after because he'll go computer gaming and I'm sleepy na. =p He went back around 12 midnight, and when he lay down beside me, the conversation resumes... again.

So much for missing each other. =)

Hehehe.....

I LOVE YOU, DADDY. =)