RAKON, XHIBIT! \m/

It was performance night last night. :o I'm super aminado that there were parts, just the teensiest parts, where I wasn't able to give my bestest best. :o But it was amazing how the people rushed on to me after the show, congratulating me for a job well done, telling me how very natural my acting was, just how acting seems like just a piece of cake to me now. Actually, acting IS never something that's easy for me to do, even if I've been into training ever since I started schooling as a kid. It's even harder right now because it's been so long since I last acted on stage... I guess the last time was last year, and that wasnt even on stage. But then again, what I did last night was just a concession to the fact that that's just not me pulling the act, it's God. Because, if I do it on my own, gosh, what a mess it's gonna be!

I'm glad then because three very special groups of people were there to watch me and the rest of the cast of Xhibit do our thing. :) They are as follows:

* Fellow Corinthians - it's sad how I abandoned them for the weeks that I've been spending for practices on Xhibit. I remember how John, Hannah, Eds, Romer, Adel... who else... have been nagging me to at least lead the teaching of songs for the group every Sunday. Now, I'll be able to do that again. :) But maybe, not tomorrow. Hehe. For the reason, I'll write about that later.

* World Youth Day Mates - the gang was almost complete... I wasn't able to see Mommy Angel, Rosel, Shen, Kuya Noel, Ate Lany, Kuya Mike, and Ate Abby. Hehe... but I was surprised to see Daddy JP and Ring. How I missed them! All the bonding, the laughter, the tears, the prayers, the experiences we shared during our almost a month of stay in Australia last July. Glad to know we're all still on track to becoming beacons of light for the world. Chorva lang! :p

* My Family - Ate Maye said, "hagalpak sa tawa mga magulang mo sa pinaggagagawa mo." Hahaha. Of course, hindi lang ako, Aldrin, the one who played Richie, was funnier than me because his role is actually to be the clown of the cast. But anyway, it was a blessing having them around to watch the play. It was nakakahiya pa nga, because I don't have money then and I wasn't able to treat them after the play as I've promised. So much for all the show of extravagance.

And yes, he was there. :)

On the eve of the play, he already told me that he might not be able to come because his budget will no longer suffice if he did. I was sad, as in, very sad, but of course, what could I do? All I could do was to pay sympathy and understand him. But I've been really hoping that he could come, not just because I want him to see our show but because I want him to see just what I've been working on these past few weeks.

You see, he's been kinda worried about me attending the rehearsals back then because almost every time we talked then, I'd always have a cough or colds. They seem so severe because I'd even have the flu and I've been vomiting blood already, so he was pleading if I could just give up performing in the play because it's affecting my health. I understand him, but of course, I can't. It's what I want to do. It's my only really sincere, hard-worked offering for Jesus this year, so my side that tells me I want fulfillment urges strongly that I shouldn't give up this stint. Sure, I won't earn any dough from here, but at least, I would be able to make people and God happy, and I would be able to make myself happy as well.

And then, yes, right after the play, as I was lost in my collection of borrowed stuff which I used as props, two special friends approached me, and....

"Uy, nakita ko."

"Ang alin?"

"Siya."

"Sinong..."

"Eh sino pa nga ba, 'di ba?"

"TALAGA??? NASA'N SIYA???"

I knew it. I just knew it.

He's always there for me even when I don't tell him to be so.

What more when I ask for it?

AWW.

Thank God I'm loved by someone I love back. :)

Musings

I don't really have a Christmas wish list just yet. And yeah, I don't think that I will ever need one. But I do have New Year's resolutions already. Maybe I'll post them here some other time.

For this Christmas, maybe the following wish list would suffice:

* Noche buena and gifts for the family
* I want a quiet Christmas. If this could be a Christmas where I could spend the whole day alone or doing stuff at Church, the better.
* LOVE.

That's it, I guess.

And by the way, I'll pursue my plan to move out on January. I'm still looking for a place to move to. My options, currently, are Zuzuarregui, Almar, and East Fairview. The good thing about East Fairview and Almar is that everything's complete in there--the location is very strategic and has many options for transpo, shopping, business, and even church. Zuzuarregui, on the other hand, is rad because it is very near my offices, is very affordable (P2,500 for a studio-type place, complete with water, electricity, and furniture), and is near a major road, although one still has to travel to be able to get to the nearest mall or church. But it was great. Right now, I'm still confirming if there are still available locations for me on all three options. And then, once Eds is ready, she'll move in with me, too.

Is this a permanent thing already? Not yet. Maybe I'm gonna try for a month first. If it's OK, and I find that it is actually more cost efficient than staying at home, then I might as well continue it. My plans are already all set--yes, even mitigating measures in case emergency cases come up.

I guess this is the biggest decision I've made so far, to move out, finally.

And nope, this is NOT a move to get closer to Kris. This is something I wanna do for my own fulfillment.

That's it.

On Money Matters

Paano kaya ako makaka-survive bukas?

Kanina, I've spent the last P50 in my wallet. Sweldo naman tomorrow dun sa isa kong raket... kaya lang, mga bandang hapon pa 'yun darating. 0_o So... I dunno. OK na ako papunta sa office. Ang tanong, kung paano ako makakauwi.

Hehehe. Anyway, hindi ko pa naman nabibilang 'yung coins ko. Baka makasapat na rin pamasahe pauwi.

Hahay. I can say this is one of the perks of budgetting your own money for yourself and for your family, whom you support.

Bakit naman perk? Isn't it supposed to be a disadvantage all because it's so hard to budget? Para sa 'kin, perk ito kasi super dami kong natututunan. Siguro 'yung pinakaastig na mga natutunan ko about budgeting are as follows:

* SAVE. Siguro maswerte ako ngayon kasi binabaha ako ng raket. That is, NGAYON. Hindi pa rin tayo nakakasiguro sa bukas, kamakalawa, sa susunod na taon. Kaya habang nandyan pa ang mga raket, MAGTIPID. Kahit P500 lang kada sweldo. Always make sure you have something to deposit every single payday sa iyong bank accounts. Humindi sa expenses kapag kinakailangan. Hindi naman sa nagkukuripot ka. Anyway, balang araw, pag ginawa mo 'to, you can make libre all you want. Hehehe. Or, maybe hindi pa rin... pero at least, kapag totoong nangailangan ka na, lagi kang may madudukot.

Assessment:
Grabe, I've failed miserably in this area. Two bank accounts have mga P2k each. One has a tumataginting na P180. Ang nakakaloka ro'n, merong P3k na minimum dapat na laman 'yun every month. Kumusta naman. Hindi malayong mag-negative ang balanse ko anumang oras mula ngayon.

Aminado ako na naging aimless ang aking paggastos nitong nakaraang mga buwan simula nang magtungo at makabalik ako from Australia para sa WYD. Ang aim ko talaga ay bawiin ang lahat ng nagastos ko para sa WYD. Ang tangi ko lang talagang motivating factor eh 'yung fact na na-finance ko ng ako lang ang WYD, kaya sure ako na makaka-save din ulit ako ng ganun kalaki. Nung una, successful ako. Pero ngayon, nawawala ang aking resolve na mag-ipon. Kaya pagsapit ng Enero, hopefully. Hehe. Sana.

* INVEST. May parable tungkol dito, 'di ba? 'Yung mga lalaking binigyan ng gold coins ba 'yun (basta coins) tapos inatasan sila ng kanilang master na palaguin pa 'yung binigay sa kanila. Sa ngayon, ano na ba ang nainvest ko? Here goes:

-> (Most recent) Siyempre, itong pa-rebond ko, hehehe
-> A digicam (na ngayon ay pinapaayos. Ito lang ang masasabi ko, hindi kasi ako ang bumili nun.)
-> An electric fan (na nasa parents' bedroom)
-> My cellphone (na ngayon ay sira na dahil lumangoy sa kape. Huwaaahhh, ang karma.... =(
-> 'Yung mouse nitong PC namin (as if that's even significant)

Ayun lang natatandaan ko.

Siyempre, nakapag-invest din ako ng web writing business with the fiance ng walang gastos (ang tangi ko lang talagang gastos dun is 'yung envelopes 'tsaka siguro pamasahe na rin papuntang bangko, hehehe). Talagang gusto kong lumago pa ito. Kahit ilan lang kaming nagsusulat. Anyway, nakakawindang din 'pag sobrang dami.

Sa darating na taon, I'm planning to invest on a laptop. =) Plano ko ring bilhan ng bagong keyboard itong PC namin, 'tsaka hard disk. Tapos, 'yung matagal ko nang ipinangakong fridge. Hehehe. Ayun muna for now.


'Yun lang so far.

Ngayong Pasko, hindi muna ako magtitipid. I want to spend for my family and friends sa community at sa work. Pero syempre, hindi ganun kabongga. Hehe. 'Tsaka ang pinaka-urgent, kailangan ko ng cellphone.

Actually, masaya naman ako na walang cellphone. Kaya lang kasi, siyempre, career woman ako (yuck, hanggang ngayon, 'di ko pa rin feel), so people have to have some contact with me wherever and whenever. Ayun. Kaya... sa darating na sweldo ro'n sa TV raket ko, bibili na ako ng cellphone. Ayoko na ng magandang cellphone. Para sa akin, tama na 'yung nakakatawag at nakaka-text. 'Tsaka siyempre, matibay.

Ayun lang.

MARYAN, GROW UP.